


Half Full

by 3x3



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Again manga spoiler!!, Gen, Give me the Ugetsu Mafuyu friendship, Manga Spoilers, Some people? Pick up stray cats from the street?? To cope???, that should be made into an archive warning honestly, there is one subtle japanese pun(?) but i doubt anyone will notice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20178769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3x3/pseuds/3x3
Summary: To this day Ugetsu still wonders just why he kept the cat in the first place.





	Half Full

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own a cat, nor is this an encouragement for you to shove homeless cats at grown men who are sad and dumb.  
Ugetsu is a good bean and he deserves so much?? I mean sure yeah he made some bad choices but I just want my boy to be happy please and thank you

The world is churning, but everything seems to be a little off-kilter. Ugetsu quickly discovers that he handles changes pretty poorly.

With Akihiko’s things moved out, the apartment is half empty. In the crevices and corners that used to be occupied, he can see the traces of him that linger. They attack him relentlessly, taunting, baring their teeth at him in a mocking manner, and Ugetsu thinks this is how he’ll always be now: half empty, half achingly lonesome.

The whole situation is so dramatic he wants to laugh. It sure as hell would be an ugly laugh. Too loud and too brash.

He remembers the song that Mafuyu- the new vocalist in Akihiko’s band- sang, how it resonated with the loneliness within himself. The kid is truly something else.

Sometimes broken people present the most touching pieces.

Ugetsu shakes his head, banishing the thought from his mind. He’s not ready to think about Akihiko-related matters yet. He hopes that one day he would be. It would be a shame to never be able to revisit the happy times again.

For the time being though, Ugetsu is stuck in the purgatory in-between. He can’t move forward, and there’s certainly no going back.

At least there’s his music. There’s always his music.

When the world is moving too quickly for him to catch up with, he is left alone in the dust. Music is all Ugetsu was, all he is, and all he will ever be.

He is half empty.

* * *

It’s a Monday afternoon, and it’s pouring. Ugetsu trudges back to his apartment after classes. The rain splatters on the ground, each drop slamming and breaking apart on concrete. They pool pitifully at the dip of the sidewalk, sliding around aimlessly. They crawl between the seams of Ugetsu’s socks, pawing at his toes.

He pulls his windbreaker closer to his chest and hastens his steps.

Usually, he’d take the car in weather like this, but he couldn’t for the life of him locate his keys that morning, resulting in his Wade of Discomfort back home.

On the side of the road, a hazy figure comes into view. moving closer, Ugetsu could see that it’s a child squatting in front of a cardboard box.

No. It’s one of those abandoned cats left by the side of a road.

Ugetsu frowns. Some spoiled little girl must’ve begged for something she isn’t ready to take responsibility of.

With only half a mind, he spares a smidge of concern for the kid: umbrella-less and soaked from head to toe. It’d be easy to catch a cold like this.

The kid suddenly looks up, and by pure chance, locks eye-contact with Ugetsu. Ugetsu freezes, at a loss of what to do. Kids are like loose cannons, and more often than not, they steer clear of Ugetsu. he never quite understood why, but appreciates being left alone.

However, this is not the case today, for the kid stares and stares and stares.

For a moment, neither of them move a muscle. The kid opens his mouth, and all Ugetsu can feel is a certain sense of impending doom.

“Hey, Mister.” the kid calls out.

Sadly, there is no one else around to push that sentence onto, so Ugetsu has no choice but to (grudgingly) accept his duty as a grown adult. “Yes? Do you need help with anything?”

“Can you please please please adopt this cat?” the kid picks up the box abruptly. A surprised shriek comes from inside. Then a piercing copper gaze is stabbing at Ugetsu with _ remarkable _ distaste, and Ugetsu almost feels the urge to protest that _ he’s _ not the one who disturbed the cat.

“Please?” the kid says again, thrusting the box towards him.

Ugetsu takes an alarming step back. “No.” he says. _ Absolutely not _. He has enough trouble taking care of himself, much less another being. He can’t help but gripe, “Didn’t your teacher tell you not to talk to strangers?”

“Yeah, but my mom told me to ask adults for help.” the kid says. “So will you adopt the cat?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why don’t _ you _ adopt it then?”

The kid’s face crash. “I can’t. My brother’s allergic.”

“Well, I’m allergic too.”

“You’re not, or you’ll be sneezing like crazy right now.” The kid points out.

“Allergy symptoms are different for everyone.” Ugetsu mutters.

The kid’s nose scrunches up. “What does ‘symptoms’ mean?”  
“Nothing.”

“So are you really? Allergic?”

“No.” Ugetsu sighs.

The kid stares at him. “You lied. You’re not supposed to lie.”

“Oh no.” Ugetsu deadpans. “Please don’t tell my father.”

“Come on, really. Do you really have the heart to leave a helpless kitty all alone on the streets? With the rain and everything. Why won’t you adopt the cat?”

Ugetsu studies the tatered ball of fluff in the box. It glares right back, eyes glowing in an eerie light. He makes a face. “I don’t like cats.” he says drily.

“You are a disgrace to our nation, Mister.” the kid sniffs. “No offence.”

Ugetsu has to remind himself that it is morally wrong to throttle someone else’s child. “Listen, kid. Why don’t you just take it to an animal shelter?”

The kid’s expression suddenly turns fearful. “Don’t you know, Mister? They kill the cats no one adopts. “Another shove of the box. “Please. If you really can’t take care of it, bring it to a friend! _ Please _ don’t send it to a shelter.”

“I don’t have any friends.” Ugetsu tells the kid honestly.

The kid blinks at him, then scoffs. “Again, you’re not supposed to lie to kids, Mister. _ Everyone _ has friends.”

With a final wave of the hand, the kid scurries off. Ugetsu wants to call out for him to _ take the cat away _, but all he ends up saying is, “Go home and dry yourself! Don’t get sick.”

“Will do, Mister!”

The rain pours and constructs a distorted orchestra. A soggy box sits densely in his arms. Inside the box lies a medium sized black cat.

He dips his head to meet its abnormally bright eyes.

“You are the devil’s incarnate.” Ugetsu says to it.

The cat purrs.

* * *

Ugetsu doesn’t take it to a shelter, courtesy of a stranger force that’s no doubt altered his brain and thought patterns. Instead, he brings it to the vet.

“I got it from the streets.” he explains.

“She seems to be in a healthy condition. Do you know if she’s been vaccinated?”

“I don’t.” he says. _ I got her from _ ** _the streets._ ** he swallows down.

Ugetsu ends up getting the cat a variety of different shots he wasn’t even aware exits, and finally arrives back home with a new litter box, a scratching post, a comfy bed, a food bowl, some toys, and a good load of canned fancy cat food.

“Listen.” he lifts the cat out of the soacked cardboard box gingerly. “If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do this right, got it? Don’t make me regret bringing you home.”

The cat tilts her head and purrs.

Ugetsu sighs, and rubs her head. She chews at his fingers. He curses.

Already off to a great start.

It doesn’t help that the cat is a demon spawn, she had to be. She is a ball of menace, a bundle of misery. She is her own brand of chaos, and she seems to wear that sense of catastrophe like a cape or a badge of honor, parading the living room smugly like it’s her kingdom and she’s the freshly cororated queen.

It hasn’t taken even a full day before she is completely accustomed to her new life, and now she’s claimed territory over the couch.

The couch, the poor poor couch that is slashed and ripped open at the lower parts. Inner stuffing spills pitifully.

“I got you a scratching post for a reason. “Ugetsu glares at the cat.

She meows loudly in defiance.

Ugetsu massages his temples. There’s that other thing, the meowing.

There’s so much meowing.

It doesn’t matter it’s five in the afternoon or two in the morning. If the mood hits, the little bastard will break into the most stress-inducing howls at any given time, which is nothing less than a death-sentence to Ugetsu’s already hectic sleep schedule.

He is starting to consider sleeping in the living room, seeing as the cat has taken a liking to shedding all over his bed.

At least he doesn’t have to worry about distubing the neighbors. One of the perks of living a bigass house all by yourself.

Mafuyu visits again to ask him about their new song, and the highschool boy gapes soundlessly at the cat, who is acting uncharacteristically well-behaved, perching obediently at the _ genkan _.

“Ugetsu-_ san _, I didn’t know you had a cat.”

“I didn’t.” Ugetsu says, picking up the cat swiftly by the midsection. The cat bats at his arm, which he has learned to ignore by now. “This little nightmare crash landed into my life.”

He takes hold of one of his furry paws and waves it in the air. “Say hi to Mafuyu.” he tells her.

The cat hisses at Ugetsu, so he hisses right back at her. She yowls, and Ugetsu sets her down on the floor again. She headbutts the back of his leg before dashing to the other side of the room. “Anyway, we can shoo her out of the room if we want. She’s only going to be annoyingly relentless with the scratching at the door.”

“I don’t mind.” Mafuyu assures him quickly. “May I pet her?”

Ugetsu shrugs. “If you want. She’s a mean slugger though.”

Mafuyu pads across the room quietly, and squats down carefully in front of the cat. He reaches out a hesitant hand to scratch the critter behind the ear. She makes a soft sound in the back of her throat and her eyes slide close, like a satisfied scamp.

_ Traitor _. Ugetsu thinks sourly. To Mafuyu, he says, “She seems to like you much more than she likes me. Want to take her home?”

Mafuyu lifts his head up to him in a wordless surprise. “I’m not going to take away your cat, Ugetsu-_ san _. Besides, I already have a dog.”

“Oh well, a shame.”

“What’s her name?”

“You know what? I haven’t really thought about it yet.” Ugetsu admits. “Do you have any suggestions?”

Mafuyu stares at him with a blank look. “Does she remind you of anything? I heard that a lot of people name their pets accordingly.”

“A devil.” Ugetsu shudders. “Fine. From now on, this stupid hairball is going to be called _ Aku _.”

Mafuyu smiles a little at that, but doesn’t comment. Instead, he says, “She reminds me a little of Ugetsu-_ san _.”

Ugetsu gawks at him, affronted. “How dare you.”

The boy hides a laugh by turning his head away. His shaking shoulders sell him out.

“Alright, you’re not here to gang up against me with my cat.” Ugetsu says, tussling Mafuyu’s hair absent-mindedly. “You can do that later.”

“Okay, Ugetsu-_ san _.” he answers, and that’s that.

* * *

He and the cat- _ Aku _ , falls into a pattern of some sort. Things get easier after Ugetsu’s accepted that when Aku wants his attention, she will do anything to _ get it _, including but not limited to: running headfirst into his legs, jumping and swatting at his stomach, deadass walking over his arm, and meowing at him blatantly until he is driven crazy.

“You’re a hazard to your surroundings, but most of all yourself.” Ugetsu says to her as he pries her away from her attempt to drink from the muddy water in his flowerpots.

She glares at him sulkily.

“Don’t give me that. You’re gonna get yourself sick someday and consequently, give me a heart attack.” he chides her, nudging her towards her perfectly functional and _ clean _ water bowl. “Why are you the way you are?”

Aku scuttles off to his room, presumably to cause more ruckus there, and Ugetsu sighs.

He guesses he’s getting used to having a cat, and _ okay fine _ , having a cat to feed reminds him to eat, because he is too used to forgetting and just skipping meals. He has an audience when he plays his violin. It’s one of the few times that Aku _ doesn’t _ try to bug the hell out of him. When Ugetsu plays the violin, she sits at a distance and listens, and it’s just him, Aku, and his music.

Having a cat isn’t _ all bad, _ even if Aku _ does _ walk all over Ugetsu when he is desperately just trying to _ sleep _.

She’s also gotten very clingy. Once Ugetsu had to leave the country to attend a recital, thus leaving him no choice but to drop Aku off at a pet hotel. She screamed and tried to reach out in his direction all the way until he left.

It made Ugetsu’s stomach flip. (He had gone on for a while without being wanted.)

It’s new, keeping company that isn’t human. He’s so bad at human interaction, but so far he seems to be alright with cat interactions.

Things are okay for a while. He keeps himself busy with his classes and his violin-playing. He sees Mafuyu again, who brings his boyfriend, because apparently he wanted to meet him. They play with Aku for a while before leaving. He stops _ aching _ at the absence of another figure, because Aku is there running between his heels at every step he takes. And he thinks he might even be able to finally get his life in order.

But there’s always a time in life when something snaps.

_ Something _. Ugetsu doesn’t very often know what it is, but something always snaps.

It just hits one day, out of the blue. There is no warning, or any sign of it approaching, but suddenly Ugetsu wakes up and nothing is right.

He feels like he’s holding the violin wrong, which is just impossible. The water tastes weird, even though it is as it always has been. His lungs seem to be contracting, because his breaths are shallow and sharp.

He’s growing agitated without reason, and that’s what’s bothering him most.

“Hey, Murata. The bags under your eyes are horrendous.” A classmate comments, not unkindly. “Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?”

To be honest, Ugetsu can’t say he’s sure of anything anymore, but that’s besides the point, and he doesn’t think that’s the answer his classmate wants to hear, so he smiles and blames it on a paper.

He waits quietly for the inevitable other shoe to drop as he treads carefully at the edge of the water.

It crashes down when an ex approaches him and tries to chat back into his good graces.

It is not by _ far _ the first time Ugetsu has had to fend off a past lover, but maybe it’s purely due to the awful timing that he panics. The guy barely opens his mouth when Ugetsu’s sight catches on his multiple piercings, and another intruding, _ unwelcome _ face flashes to the forefront of his mind- of half-hooded eyes and lazy smirks, of easy jabs at each other in between classes, of sitting side by side in comfortable solitude.

It’s like his mind shut off.

He can vaguely process himself dropping his head and turning away. He can somewhat hear the guy’s confused voice calling after him. He can dimly notice his feet carrying him forward, most likely towards his house, because that is the only place he knows where to go to.

The lock clicks open and the door slides close behind him. His legs collapse, and Ugetsu falls on his behind with his limbs sprawled limply. His mind is running kilometers an hour but at the exact same time, not at all. It seems to be going everywhere and ends up getting nowhere.

A sound comes from inside his room, and Ugetsu’s head whip up instantly. By almost second nature, he calls out, “Akihiko?”

A beat, and Aku slithers out from the crack of the door.

An unreasonable fury surges inside of him.

Ugetsu gets up on his feet abruptly, frame trembling. His teeth bites down on his lips so deeply he’s surprised he doesn’t draw any blood.

He’s _ seething _ . At Akihiko, at his ex, at the stupidly bright sun. At himself most of all, because he’s so _ disappointed. _ He thought he was over it. He thought he was _ finally moving forward again. _ He thought he’d finally gotten himself untangled from his past. Ugetsu is _ mad _at himself for not seeing until this moment that he’s exactly where’s he’s always been, because he’s taken root and the vines have wrapped themselves loop after loop around his legs.

He’s not going anywhere.

The dreadfulness of that thought eats through his skin. It tumbles through his system, carrying a toxic poison. And he just stands there, dumbfounded, because he doesn’t know how to react.

Aku thumps on his leg, and Ugetsu finally unfreezes. With a sudden pump of adrenaline, he screams, chucking the nearest mug across the room. It shatters on impact, and the shards fly in every direction. Aku cries out, and her claws latch onto his pant leg. The tip of her claws pinch his skin. Ugetsu sobs, but his face is dry. He’s cried all his tears already. That’s why he’s so upset, because he’s _ supposed to have made peace _.

Apparently he hasn’t, because he’s breaking mugs again.

He shakes his leg in frustration, and Aku jumps, darting off. “Wait-” he calls a moment too late. She’s already landed on the broken remains of the mug. She yelps in pain, and red splotches dot his floors.

Ugetsu crosses the room in quick strides and swoops Aku up into his arms. Her claws are extended and sharp, looking for purchase, and he lets her cling herself into his shoulder. He drives to the vet and doesn’t dare breath until she is returned, spooked but paws neatly wrapped in bandages.

“I always seem to hurt ones I love.” he tells her on their way back home. “Look at you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Aku only stares, the unnerving way that cats do to make you wonder if they are plotting your downfall. It's a constant, and it helps.

Ugetsu picks up the shards piece by piece, then vacuuming to make sure that there are truly no fragments left. He wipes the floor clean, and Aku comes over to nudge him on the thighs.

He drops the rag and caresses her head carefully. She lets him, and Ugetsu’s breathing eases at last.

“And here you’re back without judgement.” he sighs. “Don’t spoil me too much.”

She chews his finger.

He laughs soundlessly. “There’s my devil.”

* * *

Then things are okay again.

Ugetsu picks himself up with the broken shards, and he dumps the negativity into a dump.

One minor setback. He's not going to let it devour him. Not anymore.

The world turns, and Aku bounds with it with her energy, so Ugetsu follows, making sure she doesn't put the wrong thing in her mouth.

The role of a caretaker still feels foreign to him, but he is learning to maneuver. 

Things still get bad sometimes, and there are night when Ugetsu sits in the living room with bloodshot eyes, nails digging into his kneecaps. Aku sits with him more often than not, and tries to wiggle her way onto his lap.

It's amusing, and sometimes it distracts Ugetsu enough to snap out of his slump. Then Aku would paw at Ugetsu's violin case, and he would play a song or two. It soothes both of them.

_ That is the difference _ , he thinks. _ I won't hurt Aku with my music. _

* * *

Ugetsu is moving forward. Slowly, but not without progress. Some days he would be stuck, but eventually he would gather enough strength to surge forward again. It's got a certain rythmnic flow.

There's just him, his cat, and his music, and he thinks it sounds like someone's ideal retirement life.

Ugetsu started out half empty.

He is starting to fill.

**Author's Note:**

> Aku (アク) is short for Akuma (悪魔), which means devil.  
Also it's me. It's my ideal retirement plan.


End file.
